Give me Jesus

I have never been one for pictures of Jesus. I don’t want someone else’s impression of what Jesus looked like to get in my head. How can anyone imagine the characteristics of his God-like face with his sinless angles and lines. God incarnate, here on earth.  Only those who walked with him really knew his face well.

He came to die, for the purpose of redeeming all sinners who believe and receive. Those who walked with him experienced his life, death, and resurrection.

This is not the same picture that hung in my Grandma Fern’s bedroom. That picture may have gotten lost in the shuffle of life. Though this is the same picture print of my Grandma Fern’s and this one holds a special story. 

As a very young child laying in my Grandma’s bed, this picture held my eyes countless times. Before I fell asleep and when I woke in the mornings. I would think, concentrate and ponder; this is Jesus. I lived in uncertainty. My mother and father divorced. My mother left when I was 7.

I wonder of him — just what is he thinking? I have an awareness that he is praying. I know he is God’s son. I wonder about his prayers to his Father while lying in my Grandma’s bed. What about Jesus?

I felt little as far as genuine affection.
Years of uncertainty, confusion. Adults in my life held no real security.
That image, that picture, moved with me throughout my life. Through my young years of rebellion. Blurred memories of disappointments in myself. How good do I have to be. How could Jesus Love me? Do I want him in my life, because I believe I have some ideas of my own and he does not fit in? Who is he? What does he want of me?

Jesus calls, he gently draws on my heart. I am not ready, I know who you are, and I am not ready yet.

Who will ever love me? There is nothing in this world perfect. There are missing pieces everywhere. I feel empty, in need, and aimless. Who will save me? Who will ever love me?
As I cry out my heart in the night, I feel his presence and overwhelming love reaching out to my brokenness.

I surrendered. Never looking back. God’s Word became my path. I understood straight away that his Words belonged to me. His Holiness would become life inside of me. He is mine and I am his – belonging and loved.

I was 16 years old. I stumbled, I fell, I roamed off on my own sometimes, but I always felt sick with repentance when I disobeyed. 

This particular picture is a special gift to me from my Jesus: A few years back I committed to telling my personal story in my church of coming to know Jesus. It was not the 1st time I had shared my story. It was just at a time when I felt weak, ill-equipped, uncertain, and fearful of stumbling over words. It is my personal and sacred story, my journey to knowing Christ. I prayed — What if I speak unclearly?

The very next day while dropping into a flea market in my community, I looked down and saw this picture setting on the ground propped up, with a price of $6, and I walked away with it smiling.
Again, I am not one for pictures or statues of Jesus. I know someday I will see him face to face for REAL. This picture simply holds a memorial of honor, hanging in my bedroom. Knowing that God set a seed in my childhood heart.

A Shepherd calling and then herding.

Every night I lay down in the presence of Jesus. Every morning I wake up — I meditate, worship, praise, pray and ponder the very breath and heart of my Jesus, knowing him. I see the long journey of my life in that picture. 

Jesus was love nailed to a cross, sinless though taking with him, the sins of the world. That is PERFECT love – Our belief in God’s mission of his own son’s death delivers us from our sins, with our sincere repentance and belief.
That PERFECT love is our HOPE….. It cast out ALL fears.
The absence of fear is…JOY.

We will have eternal life free of all brokenness.

In this one scripture, it presents security in God’s plan of salvation:

There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love.
1 John 4:18

Happy Trails and Life, cross country motorcycling, Orthostatic Tremor awareness

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