Give me Jesus


I have never been one for pictures of Jesus. Only because I don’t want someone else’s impression of what Jesus looked like to get stuck in my head. I don’t think any of us can imagine the character of his God-like face, the humanity of his facial features, the sinless lines and angles formed of his life here on earth. 
This is not the same picture that hung in my Grandma Fern’s bedroom. That picture may have gotten lost in the shuffle of life. Though this is the same picture print of my Grandma Fern’s and this one has a special story. 
As a very young child laying in my Grandma’s bed, this picture held my eyes countless times. Before I fell asleep and when I woke in the mornings. I would think, concentrate and ponder; this is Jesus. I lived in uncertainty. My mother and father divorced. My mother left when I was 7.

I felt nothing as far as genuine affection.
Years of uncertainty, confusion. Adults in my life held no real security.
That image, that picture, moved with my heart through my life.
Through my young years of rebellion. Blurred memories of disappointments in myself. How good do I have to be. How could Jesus Love me? Do I want him in my life, because I believe I have some ideas of my own and he does not fit in? Who is he? What does he want of me?

Jesus calls, he gently draws on my heart. I am not ready, I know who you are, and I am not ready yet.

Who will ever love me? There is nothing in this world perfect. There are missing pieces everywhere. I feel empty, in need, and aimless. Who will save me? Who will ever love me?
As I cried out my heart in the night, I felt his presence and overwhelming love reach out to my brokenness. I surrendered. I never looked back. God’s Word became my path. I understood straight away that his Words belonged to me. His Holiness would become life inside of me. He is mine and I am his – belonging and loved.

I was 16 years old. I stumbled, I fell, I roamed off on my own sometimes, but I always felt sick with repentance when I disobeyed. 

Again, this picture is a special gift to me from my Jesus: A few years back I committed to telling  my personal story in my church of coming to know Jesus. It was not the 1st time I had shared my story. It was just at a time I felt weak, uncertain, and scared  of stumbling over words because of how personal and sacred my story is to me. 
The very next day while dropping into a flea market in my community, I looked down and saw this picture setting on the ground propped up and looking at me. $6, and I walked away with it smiling.
Again, I am not one for pictures or statues of Jesus, as I know someday I will see him face to face for REAL. But honestly, this picture holds a place of great honor hanging in my bedroom. 
Every night I lay down in its  presence. Every morning I wake up to it – I meditate, worship, praise, pray and ponder the very breath and heart of my Jesus. 
I see the long journey of my life in that picture.

Jesus was love nailed to a cross, sinless though taking with him, the sins of the world. That was PERFECT love – Our belief in God’s mission of his own son’s death delivers us from our sins, with our sincere repentance and belief.
That PERFECT love is our HOPE….. It cast out ALL fears.
The absence of fear is…JOY. We have eternal life free of all brokenness.
So in this one scripture, it presents security in God’s plan of salvation.

There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love.
1 John 4:18

Happy Trails and Life, cross country motorcycling, Orthostatic Tremor awareness,

Published
Categorized as Faith

By happytrails2U blog

Sharing my journeys and observations of life. I am Kim Fowler in the Arkansas hills, wife of a pastor, mother of two daughters, two son-in-laws and MeMaw to 8 GRANDS. Married to my beloved buddy/love for 42 years (1979) I have life journeys to share, a busy mind of thoughts and meditations in Christ my Lord. I began this blog to log our cross country motorcycle journeys.

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