They lay heavy on my heart. Knowing that they come from a manifestation of God’s Holiness within us – in our belonging.
As I have meditated on each one in a personal way, I draw closer, listening, abiding indwelling – God’s very presence.
Knowing him intimately as my creator, Father; I lean in and trust.
Putting into words what each fruit means to me. I made it into poster form in my pages app, although I was unable to export it as a poster, probably due to size. So I made it into photos. I feel like a techno underachiever.
In abiding we manifest Christ.
Not abiding we either falter or we are not – the truth is revealed.
It is a struggle of two nature as Paul speaks of in Romans 7.
Galatians three challenges us to ABIDE.
Meditate and humbly receive – be STRENGTHENED from within
Galatians 5:24-26 NLT  Those who belong to Christ Jesus have nailed the passions and desires of their sinful nature to his cross and crucified them there.  Since we are living by the Spirit, let us follow the Spirit’s leading in every part of our lives.  Let us not become conceited, or provoke one another, or be jealous of one another. …
Oh my goodness. Are you still here. 😂 I have depleted my mind. Therapeutical writing……no it was brain exhausting. Blog 9 in my Orthostatic Tremor series, ENDS here.
I am old, worn out with Chronic auto immunes and now OT ; ORTHOSTATIC TREMOR AWARENESS BLOG – in my elder state, I apologize for repeating stuff.
I believe I included in blog 5, my encouragements with a couple of book recommendations and scriptures. I am aware that some reading this may not join in with my Faith. But that is what I have to offer. I invite you to read what is personal to me. Or you may want to not read of my faith.
Regarding my Orthostatic Tremor, in the words of Andrew Murray from his book, “Jesus Himself”.
“Oh! my Lord Jesus, though I do not understand it, though I cannot grasp it, though my struggles avail nothing, I am not going to let Thee go. If it is possible for a sinner on earth to have Jesus every day, every hour, and every moment in resurrection power dwelling in his heart, shining within him, filling him with love and joy,—if that is possible, I want it.”
(Many of Andrew Murray’s books are on Amazon for free kindle downloads and also utube has many, many of his books to listen to audibly for free.)
The above quote set my heart towards Jacob in Genesis 32:22-30 Read, study it and meditate on it and please take it personally.
I don’t like to say favorites in the Bible, although this passage would be a mark for me for all my life as God’s child, restoring me over and over – I go back to it when I audible pray fervently, pouring out and then receiving holy restoration in my walk.
And now it is fitting with my Orthostatic Tremor journey too.
After Jacob offered up to Esau a present of peace he entered into deep fervent prayer. I can’t tell it quite like my faithful study partner, Mathew Henry, breaks this passage down so well in his Bible commentary;
Genesis 32:24-32 A great while before day, Jacob being alone, more fully spread his fears before God in prayer. While thus employed, One in the likeness of a man wrestled with him. When the spirit helpeth our infirmities, and our earnest and vast desires can scarcely find words to utter them, and we still mean more than we can express, then prayer is indeed wrestling with God. However tried or discouraged, we shall prevail; and prevailing with Him in prayer, we shall prevail against all enemies that strive with us. Nothing requires more vigour and unceasing exertion than wrestling. It is an emblem of the true spirit of faith and prayer. Jacob kept his ground; though the struggle continued long, this did not shake his faith, nor silence his prayer. He will have a blessing, and had rather have all his bone put out of joint than go away without one. Those who would have the blessing of Christ, must resolve to take no denial. The fervent prayer is the effectual prayer. The Angel puts a lasting mark of honour upon him, by changing his name. Jacob signifies a supplanter. From henceforth he shall be celebrated, not for craft and artful management, but for true valour. Thou shalt be called Israel, a prince with God, a name greater than those of the great men of the earth. He is a prince indeed that is a prince with God; those are truly honourable that are mighty in prayer. Having power with God, he shall have power with men too; he shall prevail, and gain Esau’s favour. Jacob gives a new name to the place. He calls it Peniel, the face of God, because there he had seen the appearance of God, and obtained the favour of God. It becomes those whom God honours, to admire his grace towards them. The Angel who wrestled with Jacob was the second Person in the sacred Trinity, who was afterwards God manifest in the flesh, and who, dwelling in human nature, is called Immanuel, Hosea 12:4, Hosea 12:5. Jacob halted on his thigh. It might serve to keep him from being lifted up with the abundance of the revelations. The sun rose on Jacob: it is sun-rise with that soul, which has had communion with God.
CHANGED HIS WALK I like this story of Jacob because I know how broken I have felt at times and I know how broken each of us feels at times. We wrestle life. In those times, I have prayed fervently with sincerely needing to feel closer to my Father/Lord and wanting clarity. An intervention prayer such as Jacob’s wrestling and pleading for a blessing, should change his walk and cause him to rely on God for the great journeys he had ahead. OT has brought me closer in need and reliance on a close personal walk. My OT prayers were surrendering to a new change in my life. And it is okay. I seek the face of God.
Genesis 32:31 NLT  The sun was rising as Jacob left Peniel, and he was limping because of the injury to his hip.
Orthostatic Tremor ….
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I have never been one for pictures of Jesus. Only because I don’t want someone else’s impression of what Jesus looked like to get stuck in my head. I don’t think any of us can imagine the character of his God-like face, the humanity of his facial features, the sinless lines and angles formed of his life here on earth. This is not the same picture that hung in my Grandma Fern’s bedroom. That picture may have gotten lost in the shuffle of life. Though this is the same picture print of my Grandma Fern’s and this one has a special story. As a very young child laying in my Grandma’s bed, this picture held my eyes countless times. Before I fell asleep and when I woke in the mornings. I would think, concentrate and ponder; this is Jesus. I lived in uncertainty. My mother and father divorced. My mother left when I was 7.
I felt nothing as far as genuine affection. Years of uncertainty, confusion. Adults in my life held no real security. That image, that picture, moved with my heart through my life. Through my young years of rebellion. Blurred memories of disappointments in myself. How good do I have to be. How could Jesus Love me? Do I want him in my life, because I believe I have some ideas of my own and he does not fit in? Who is he? What does he want of me?
Jesus calls, he gently draws on my heart. I am not ready, I know who you are, and I am not ready yet.
Who will ever love me? There is nothing in this world perfect. There are missing pieces everywhere. I feel empty, in need, and aimless. Who will save me? Who will ever love me? As I cried out my heart in the night, I felt his presence and overwhelming love reach out to my brokenness. I surrendered. I never looked back. God’s Word became my path. I understood straight away that his Words belonged to me. His Holiness would become life inside of me. He is mine and I am his – belonging and loved.
I was 16 years old. I stumbled, I fell, I roamed off on my own sometimes, but I always felt sick with repentance when I disobeyed.
Again, this picture is a special gift to me from my Jesus: A few years back I committed to telling my personal story in my church of coming to know Jesus. It was not the 1st time I had shared my story. It was just at a time I felt weak, uncertain, and scared of stumbling over words because of how personal and sacred my story is to me. The very next day while dropping into a flea market in my community, I looked down and saw this picture setting on the ground propped up and looking at me. $6, and I walked away with it smiling. Again, I am not one for pictures or statues of Jesus, as I know someday I will see him face to face for REAL. But honestly, this picture holds a place of great honor hanging in my bedroom. Every night I lay down in its presence. Every morning I wake up to it – I meditate, worship, praise, pray and ponder the very breath and heart of my Jesus. I see the long journey of my life in that picture.
Jesus was love nailed to a cross, sinless though taking with him, the sins of the world. That was PERFECT love – Our belief in God’s mission of his own son’s death delivers us from our sins, with our sincere repentance and belief. That PERFECT love is our HOPE….. It cast out ALL fears. The absence of fear is…JOY. We have eternal life free of all brokenness. So in this one scripture, it presents security in God’s plan of salvation.
There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love. 1 John 4:18
Happy Trails and Life, cross country motorcycling, Orthostatic Tremor awareness, and RVing to come
This past week we have been on the recieving end of church providence. It is humbling to just say, thank you – you are so kind. More than so kind, you ARE our Christ given church family.
Al and I had our BIG plans (bucket list cross country motorcycle great adventure to the Pacific coast hwy 1 – tour ride) abruptly changed in a blink of an eye as I tumbled in a crumpled heap on the ground with what was sprained tendons and I could not get up and walk, one week ago.
So a week has passed with doctors orders of immobilization, rest, elevation and no weight on my left leg. With us confined in our home. God has proved he can and will change our well made plans and in that very process validate that his love and care is at work through his people.
Our beloved church family has been at our door everyday feeding us and administering church FAMILY love. God knew our greatest need before we left in desperation of escape was to see that assurance in action.
Al has left me alone very minimally most of the rest of the week, being a hover vigilante care giver. Today he has made a hospital visit, and a couple other meetings and a funeral this afternoon. This guy really needs a vacation ! I know the pace he keeps. Recent months have drained us both.
Today I have broken my strong bond with that dastardly walker. I have not had any lingering twinges of pain all day, just feeling a little stiff. Tomorrow morning I go to my return appointment to check my progress. And I am aggressively convincing Al that I believe we may go on our trip this week.
I am still enlisting prayers as it is with my left leg that I push my bike off its kick stand. I will continue to wear the brace and be very careful. I plan on giving it a test run tomorrow afternoon.
What is Church.
12 Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience,
13 bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.
14 And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.
15 And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful.
16 Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God.
17 And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.
God wraps it all up in a tidy bundle with his words there.